I knew a man Bonejangles and he'd chop you up in worn out shoes...
Have you ever wondered who would win in a fight between Jason from the Friday the 13th movies and The Walking Dead? Director/actor Brett DeJager attempts to answer that question in his new movie Bonejangles.
Spoiler alert: The movie opens with a radio DJ announcing that the supernatural serial killer, named Bonejangles, is on the loose. Bonejangles is basically a big, machete wielding monster with not a lot to say and driven by flashbacks of his dead father, played by horror movie legend Reggie Bannister.
Bonejangles derives his name, not because someone met him in a New Orleans jail cell and he danced for them. He got it because he likes to collect the bones of his victims and when you hear him walking, the bones, well, jingle.
The police are called in to deal with Bonejangles. "Most of us are not coming back," the police chief warns his officers. Of course the chief's predictions ring true. After Bonejangles hacks up most of the cops, the last three police officers named Lisa, Doug, and Randy manage to subdue him.
And that's where the movie really begins!
The trio are assigned to drive Bonejangles to Smith's Grove Sanitarium, which fans of the Halloween movies will recognize as the place where Micheal Myers was sent to after killing his sister. But on the way to Smith's Grove, our heroes find themselves in a small town with a dark history. On that particular night, the town is annually attacked by zombies. Big surprise, it just so happens that Doug is from this town and his childhood sweetheart, Sally, is about to marry Clint, the towns lead zombie killer.
With hope dwindling, and Doug hoping to win Sally away from Clint, our heroes turn to Bonejangles for help in defeating the zombies.
As the tag line of this movie says: "Fight the Curse with something Worse!" Oh, yeah, this is worse!
The movie attempts to create a parody of horror/slasher movies with a badly executed blend of redneck humor and cliche horror movie do's and don't's. While Bannister, the self-described hardest working man in horror, turns in a fun performance as the serial killer father driving his son onward, he's not in the movie long enough to really carry it. Bonejangles is no Scary Movie or Cabin in the Woods and lacks the wit to make the audience laugh while failing to offer any new insights on the deeper meanings of horror movies and why we continue to watch them.
Overall grade: F